“Let all things be done decently and in order.” – 1 Cor 14:40
God wants to bless his church and God wants to bless the marriages of his people. But our God is a god of order, and he has established a way in which his blessing will flow.
From the beginning of time, we see God making order out of chaos. Genesis tells us that “The earth was without form and void and darkness covered the face of the deep.” But God began to establish order and pattern and the spoken Word was the method by which he created order. The Spirit of God moved, and God said, let there be, and there was. In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God, and the Word was God (Genesis 1 and John 1).
John writes that Christ is that manifest Word of God, the power and presence of God, and that “All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:3). Paul expands this concept when he writes that by Jesus Christ were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist” (Colossians 1:15-17).
The creative power of God flows through the person of Jesus Christ. The blessing of life itself comes through the spoken Word of God. And thus all blessing to the church comes through Christ. Look at how Paul opens his letter to the Ephesians, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ” (vs 2). All spiritual blessings comes from the Father through Christ. We should not be surprised then when Paul later states that the risen Christ is exalted above all else including his body here on the earth, the church, of which He is the head.
God “raised [Christ] from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: And has put all things under his feet, and gave him [Christ] to be the head over all things to the church, which is his body” (Eph. 1:20-23).
Christ is the head of all. The order that God has established is that Christ holds this place of preeminence. He is preeminent in creation, on this earth, in the spiritual dimension that is, and over all that is to come. Christ is preeminent over the church, the spiritual family of God. And God is communicating to us through the central metaphor of man and woman, that just as Christ is the head of the church, the man is the head of the woman. For “the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3).
So we see a pattern of command, of order, of hierarchy that God has established. God is the head over all. Christ is over the church and over man. Man is over the woman. As we have seen elsewhere, woman is symbolic of all mankind while man is symbolic of Christ. The metaphor holds true. God is over all. Christ is over the church, his bride. Man is the representative of Christ and woman is under the submission of man, symbolic of the church and humanity being under God.
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body” (Ephesians 5:23).
Note Christ’s position as the savior of the body. And it says this in the context of him being the head. There seems to be an implied cause and effect relationship here. Christ is the head because he is the savior. He has been exalted to the place of preeminence because of the sacrifice he made, as the lamb slain from the foundation of the world (Rev 13:8).
Christ didn’t cling to the glory he had with the father in heaven, but instead he “made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also has highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name” (Philippians 2:7-9).
“We see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels [a human man] for the suffering of death, crowned with glory and honour; that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man. For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings” (Hebrews 2:9-10). So the greatness of Christ was achieved by debasing himself, lowering himself and suffering for his bride. Christ himself testified of this principle when he said the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve or to be a minister (Matt 20:28). And again “He that humbles himself shall be exalted” (Luke 14:11 & Matthew 23:12).
If Christ humbled himself, how then should the man, as Christ’s representative behave? How closely should the man emulate Christ to walk worthy of the place God has honored him with as the head over the woman? Paul lays it out very clearly in Ephesians. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (5:25). Men should be emulating Christ as closely as humanly possible. He is the head, the authority, and the representative of God in the marriage relationship. This is the order God has established.
God will not operate outside of the order that he has established. Power and authority, blessing and favor fall from God and flow down through his established order unto the woman through the man.
What do we think it means when it says that man and woman become one. Does God see two individual people or does he deal with the married couple as as a single entity? In 1 Peter 3:7, a commonly read passage about the marriage relationship, Peter instructs husbands to be considerate and show respect toward their wives, “as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (NIV). This is important because husbands and wives are “heirs together of the grace of life; [and so] that your prayers be not hindered” (KJV). The principle established here is that the way a husband treats his wife effects the husband’s relationship with God and the power of God in answering the prayers of the husband.
But right in the middle of this verse, and it is often overlooked, it states that the husband and wife are heirs together of life, gracious saving life from God. God does looks at them as a unit. He does consider them to be one spiritually. It’s not just the prayers of the husband that can be hindered, but his actions toward his wife, and toward God’s commands, can hinder the gracious gift of life itself. The blessing of God on the family and on the wife can be hindered because of a husband who acts ungodly toward his wife or toward God.
Our God is a god of order. And he does not operate outside of his established order. In marriage he sets before us a blessing and a curse, just as he did for the children of Israel as they came into the promise land. “The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee… if thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, and walk in his ways… Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God, but turn aside out of the way which I command you this day…” (Deuteronomy 28:7-9 & 11:26-28). It is the husband, as the head, who bears the responsibility for the blessing or the curse that flows from God onto his family.
That’s a heavy burden for husbands. But like Christ, who “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame” (Heb 12:2) and humbled himself for his bride, husbands too should consider their role as a conduit for God’s blessing not as a burden but as a joy. Christ’s joy was in “bringing many sons unto glory.” Husbands too bring glory to their wives, to their relationships, and to God by being godly men, following after God with passion, and loving their wives so much that they, like Christ their example, would lay down their lives and count it all joy.
Additional Scripture Readings
God has blessings for his people.
Psalm 24: 4-5
He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.
All good gifts flow from the Father above.
James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
And the blessing flow down from the head to the body when there is unity.
Psalm 133:1-3
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.